By Tara Cousineau, PhD

With some recent ruckus of the annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, we are again reminded of the importance of dispelling myths about unrealistic body types. This goes for raising body image awareness among both girls and boys.  Our culture extols the thin, sexy, blond, blue-eyed woman and the tall, broad, sculpted guy – and we see it in beloved fairytales and superhero movies that our nieces and nephews soak in from toddlerhood on up.

Aunts can play a key role in gently acknowledging the extent of unrealistic images that media spews out on a daily basis. A little girl or boy may begin to believe: “I can never be pretty enough, strong enough or smart enough.”  A mom or dad might say: “But you look beautiful just the way you are.” And what do kids inevitably say back? “Well you're my mom, so you are supposed to say that (so I don't believe you)!”  

Slightly removed, aunties are in a great position to have authentic and realistic conversations with their nieces and nephews, especially about topics that are too embarrassing to discuss with mom or dad. For instance, aunties can be curious and questioning when watching movies or TV ads, perusing magazine covers, or observing their nieces’ and nephews’ postings on social media. (You are tracking them, right?)  

Here are 5 ways savvy aunts can help kids build resilience and positive body image:

1) Be a Sherlock – Like a detective you can “wonder” with children.  Turn media literacy into a game.

I wonder why fashion magazines always have headlines about losing weight?
I wonder why the directors made the character look like that?
I wonder what that ad is trying to sell us?
I wonder why cigarette ads show nature scenes or people having fun?

2) Role Model Body Acceptance – Children take in what grownups say and do. If they observe adults criticizing their own body or commenting on others, they will absorb the language of body dissatisfaction and begin to critique their own. Avoid “fat talk,” even if it seems like a compliment. For instance, be mindful when greeting family and friends. Avoid saying:  “You look great! Did you lose weight?” Try this instead:  “It’s so nice to see you and spend time with you. It’s been too long!”

3) Engage in Healthy Living Activities – Shopping is now one of the top leisure activities in the US.  When you spend time with your nieces and nephews, consider activities like being outdoors, playing games, creating art, or visiting museums. Help them stretch their imagination and engage in the world in new ways that are not about consumerism.

4) Scout Things Out – While gender stereotypes seem to get narrower over time, the opportunities for boys and girls are expanding. There are STEM camps and leadership programs that help kids think outside the box. You can mentor them in exploring these interests. How does this help with body image? It takes attention off of how one looks, ranks, or rates compared to others.  Instead, the focus is on how children and teens can make a contribution and find a purpose.

5) Teach Empathy and Compassion – Helping children internalize these values can be best accomplished by taking action. Help a neighbor in need, volunteer at a soup kitchen or find other social action activities to do with your niece or nephew. These are great ways to show children they have an important role in caring for the community and our planet. Children also learn that they, too, are worthy of love and kindness. It’s the golden rule in action.

Further Resources:

The Representation Project
Miss Representation Film
The Mask You Live in
The Good Men Project
Kaiser Family Foundation: The Profiles of Generation M2

Published: February 17, 2015